Father’s Day is a hard day for those who lost a father or those who are divorced or even those that are raising kids without a dad in the picture at all.
So as yet another Father’s Day is here my thoughts go out to all those who lost a father this year. I have friends who lost their loving caring spouse and father of their kids and my heart goes out to them. Those poor kids who lost their dad due to a long illness. Their dad was loving and caring and even left them some surprises to find after he passed. They know their dad loved them and always will feel that love even now when he’s gone.
Other kids only have a mom in their life. Their dad is not in the picture (if he ever was at all). Those kids have no-one to celebrate with or to remember and honor on this day. Though they do have strong mom’s who are there for them always and hopefully other father figures in their lives to celebrate as well.
On the other hand my ex is still alive, yet my kids dreaded going to their dad today and were asking me all week – can dad go on a business trip this weekend so we can skip fathers day? No kids, your dad loves you and wants to spend the day with you. No matter how much I say this to the kids they still grumble about going. This makes me so sad. The kids should be running into their dad’s arms full of excitement and happiness after not seeing him for a few days (sometimes even longer). But sadly this is not the case.
So as my kids reluctantly went off to their dad’s today I sit here and wonder why they don’t realize how lucky they are to still have their dad alive and in the picture. Yes I know I cannot make them feel the love from their dad, that is something their father must do on his own and something he is obviously failing at. My telling them that their dad loves them and cares about them is not something they will buy into as they don’t feel the love from him and feel he does not listen to them and their needs and wants.
So tonight I will once again remind my boys how lucky they are and remind them that some kids lost their dads, and that others never had one in the picture. Yes my kids are lucky to have a dad who wants to see them. Is he the best dad, no not by far, but he’s not a bad dad he just has no idea how to really connect with the kids on a personal level. He also does not listen to them when they try to tell him how they feel and when they express their needs. But hey that is something they can work on and hopefully improve over time. At least he’s here even if he’s not in the moment with them like they want.