I sit here all alone wondering if I’m doing the right thing or not… It’s now day 181 since my kids came home from school and quarantine set in. We’ve been mostly all alone, except for some extended family and a few close friends. COVID has changed all our lives and who knows when things will get better. Now that Fall has come around and schools has started up again the isolation is a double-edged sword. Friends are sending their kids back to the school buildings, while we chose to do remote learning instead. Better safe than sorry is our thinking. This was not a decision we came to lightly, we talked about it extensively over many months and decided that this was what was best for us. Based on how safe everyone felt and their desires to remain feeing safe we decided to do remote learning. I have to say that once we made the decision, I felt like a weight was lifted off my shoulders. But now everyone is having me second guessing myself.
So why the mixed feelings you ask? It’s because I’m all alone, just me and my boys (and of course our dogs). I feel like people are looking down on me for deciding to stay safe in these uncertain times. I feel like I am being judged because the COVID rates (while starting to slowly climb up again) are low in our area. COVID brain is setting in and everyone just wants things to go back to normal, but things are far from normal. It is not normal to have to wear a mask and stay 6 feet away from others at all times.
While I feel that the other parents are looking down at me for our decision, it is how we chose to live. We want to be able to see our family – my mom, my brother, his wife and their kids – without worrying that we will get them sick. I am content with our decision and am enjoying having my kids home doing their online classes and hearing in between classes about what they are learning in a way I never would have had they been in the school. Because let’s face it when your teen comes home from school and you ask them about their day all they do is say “fine”, grab a snack and go into their caves.
So where does all my second guessing come in, it comes in from all the social media posts… these posts are both positive and negative about the world outside my door. Many parents seem to be sending their kids to school because they say, “we need to get back to normal”. Well normal is not what you are sending your child back into. This is far from normal. Some parents say, “my kid needs to socialize”. Well, guess what your kids is not going to socialize – not at 6 feet apart and masked. If your kid is in elementary or middle school they won’t even see anyone who is not in their class as they will not be leaving their classroom all day. High schoolers will have a bit more opportunity to talk but let’s face it their talks will not be the same – you cannot whisper with your friends about that boy or girl you like because you’ll be 6 feet apart.
Other parents are so gung-ho about it in their posts that it makes me wonder – are we doing the right thing? Their posts about how wonderful it is for their kids to go back to school makes me wonder. But then they go on to add in their posts about being out and about doing things that science say is unsafe. This make me cringe inside, a probable sign that we did the right thing. Hearing these parents talk about their lack of social distancing from day 1… how their kids have been with others the whole time without masks… how they have large get togethers… how they basically flaunted the COVID safety protocols this whole time and are COVID free so what’s the big deal. The big deal is you are taking risks with not only your life but other’s lives as well. Just because COVID numbers have been low in our area and you lucked out with your risky behavior does not mean that behavior is morally right. Many of the people who have COVID are asymptomatic but that does not mean that the people they pass it to will be asymptomatic as well. Hearing these stories makes me happy we are remote learners this year.
Looking at all the posts and comments on all the social media sites as well as parent message boards I must admit that I feel some glee that these parents are conflicted inside. Comments like “hopefully we can stay in school until mid-October”, “my kid said school feels like a prison”, and “our kids are not safe on the bus” let me know our decision was the right one. Hearing parents complain about all the extra free periods kids have now due to the need to make classes smaller and losing electives. Hearing them complain about the chaos at pick up and drop off. Hearing them complain about their kid being frustrated about not seeing their friend or how they need to eat lunch apart from people. Hearing the parents worry about safety, about cleaning procedures, about their kids sitting around for 2-3 periods a day doing nothing, causes me to smile inside as this is something we don’t have to deal with.
I truly hope that everyone can stay safe, that nobody gets COVID and that every student has a positive learning experience this year. As an educator myself I know that I made the best decision for my family. I know that while the board, the principals and the staff at the school are all doing their best to keep everyone safe that it does not take much to make the best laid plans fail – especially when you have a disease that has such a high infection rate and are counting on students of all ages to follow strict guidelines. While I hope that they can keep up the good work, I know that time usually leads to slacking of enforcement, as well as frustration on the part of those that need to follow such strict rules. I also know that no one plan is perfect. These hard workers – some of whom are my colleagues – are doing their best. From the head of the school board to the janitor everyone is trying to keep our kids safe this year.
For us safety meant staying home, for others it’s going into school. But no matter what anyone chooses to do we should all support each other and not look down on anyone for the choices they made. We had our reasons for staying remote (many of which I did not mention here) and others have their own sets of reasons for sending their kids to school. Everyone has the right to assess their own situation and choose what they think will work best for their family. So please, let’s support each other and not look down on anyone for their choices. All I ask is that everyone stay as safe as they can, for themselves, for their family and for everyone else.
Rantings of a Single Mom 